Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Some Of The Many Mistakes I Made… wid woomen

You may have heard me mention this before, but I didn’t have my first girlfriend until I was 24 years old.

Up until that point, I had gotten used to women not paying attention to me, and I just assumed that I wasn’t the type of guy that women were “interested in”.I would hear stories about the other guys in my high school “hooking up” with the attractive girls… and, over time, I just got the point where I accepted the idea that those guys must have something “special” about them… that attracted women in a sexual way.

The more these other guys “scored”, and the more I didn’t score, the more I affirmed that belief in my mind…But here’s the kicker: Just because women weren’t interested in ME in a sexual way… didn’t mean that I wasn’t interested in THEM in a sexual way.

My desire was always there… hoping… waiting… praying for a chance opportunity to be with one of these seemingly out-of-reach beauties I saw all around me.Now that I look back on it, I realize that the frustration that came from believing that I would never be successful with women… combined with my growing desire to BE with one of these women… ruled my “mental world”.

I had no idea that I had the word “DESPERATE” written in big bold letters on my forehead. Women could see it… but I had no idea it was even there.This “foundation” (if you could call it that), led to another set of problems as I got older…Because I secretly believed that women weren’t interested in me “in that way”, I always felt embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about my desires to be with them…I could be talking to an attractive woman, and as soon as I started to think “Hey, this woman is hot…” I would become INCREDIBLY self-conscious.

All of a sudden, I felt like my thoughts and intentions were being projected on a giant movie screen right in front of the girl I was talking to. I felt like she could READ MY MIND.

Worse, I felt like she not only knew what I was thinking, but she was probably DISGUSTED by it… and wanted to get away from me.I mean, if you were an attractive woman, and a guy that wasn’t attractive in any way was talking to you… and thinking sexual thoughts about you… wouldn’t YOU want to get away as fast as possible?

I thought so. And, more importantly, I thought that SHE thought so.
And again… now that I’m older, and can look back on this with experience… I can see that I was literally sabotaging my chances of success with these women.


http://www.doubleyourdatingprogram.com/e/10020/PowerSexuality/

Monday, November 14, 2005

i hated looking in the mirror and seeing a woman






click on the pic to read the text

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Scars

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His mother, in the house and looking out the window, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs.That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved. The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go."
You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms be very, very grateful. He did not, and will not, ever let you go. Please pass this on to those you love. God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never judge another persons scars, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is soooo important that we are not selfish to receive the blessings of these messages without forwarding them to someone else. Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and that you love them too: enough to not let them go. Have a lovely day!

- Just gott dis from Fr Anil


i gott an ugly scar on my left rist
i despaired of life


it reminds me
God loves me

He didnt let me die

Thursday, October 27, 2005

our tots


click on the link

then run your mouse over the people standing at the bus stop

Peeping

Sunday, October 23, 2005

i just love matured woomen ...












the beeger, the better

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Are you lonesome tonight,

Are you lonesome tonight,
do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a brighter sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world's a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I'll never know.
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then make them bring the curtain down.
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?


-Saby

Thursday, October 13, 2005

mercy killings at La. hospital

Officials investigate reports of mercy killings at La. hospital
By Jennifer Latson and Mark Washburn, Knight Ridder Newspapers Thu Oct 13, 7:25 PM ET
NEW ORLEANS - Louisiana's attorney general is probing allegations that patients at the city's Memorial Hospital were put out of their misery by mercy killings in the desperate days after Hurricane Katrina.

"There have been reports that doctors have been going around injecting people," Frank Minyard, Orleans Parish coroner, said Thursday.
Minyard said that as part of the investigation, his office has autopsied at least 45 bodies taken from the hospital.
It's part of a broader inquiry into the practices of 13 nursing homes and six hospitals where patients died during and after Katrina - some because of mistreatment or neglect, family members have alleged.
New Orleans internist Dr. John Kokemor was treating patients in Memorial when floodwaters rose around the hospital the day after the hurricane, the power cut out and the temperature inside soared above 100 degrees.
Patients were suffering and doctors were panicking, but Kokemor saw no sign of euthanasia.
"There was a lot of suffering going on. It was obviously hard on the caregivers," said Kokemor, 53, a physician with a private practice in New Orleans. "But I didn't see any syringes passed around. If people received anything, it was comfort measures."
Some patients were already near death, and some had "do not resuscitate" orders. They may have been the ones who died, Kokemor said.
The investigation at Memorial, first reported by CNN, stemmed from complaints from relatives and others who had heard rumors of mercy killings, authorities said.
Among the dead taken from Memorial were 11 bodies that had been in the morgue before the storm, three people who died in the storm and were brought to the hospital, one body sent by another hospital for safekeeping and 24 bodies of frail patients in a Lifecare unit operated independently from the hospital, according to a hospital official.
Two days after the storm, rising floodwaters shorted out the hospital's generators and batteries, shutting down critical support equipment such as ventilators and dialysis machines, said Steven Campanini, a spokesman for Dallas-based Tenet, which owns Memorial and four other New Orleans hospitals.
"There is only so much a health care provider could do under such extraordinary circumstances," Campanini said.
The company hasn't been able to substantiate any reports that euthanasia was discussed among the staff of the sprawling medical center in the two hectic days after Katrina.
"I don't know how widespread these kinds of discussions could be going on with 2,000 people focused on evacuation," Campanini said.
Ethically, even in an extreme crisis like the one facing the hospital staff, resorting to mercy killings would be out of bounds morally and legally, said Robert Veatch, a professor of medical ethics at the Kennedy Institute of Ethics at Georgetown University.
"There is no formal justification for euthanasia in the technical sense of active intervention to hasten death," he said. "It's illegal and no mainstream medical ethical source would endorse it."
Memorial Hospital is the only medical center under scrutiny for potentially euthanizing patients in the storm's aftermath, authorities say.
Patients from the other hospitals and nursing homes will be autopsied to find out if they "died from neglect or being left behind, from lack of food and water or medication," said Kris Wartelle, spokeswoman for Louisiana Attorney General Charles Foti Jr.
"We'd heard rumors all along," said Wartelle. "We got enough calls from victims' families asking us to look into it that we did."
One of the nursing homes under investigation is St. Rita's, the St. Bernard Parish facility where 34 residents died. The attorney general charged the home's owners with negligent homicide after autopsies showed patients had drowned.
The attorney general's office has received preliminary results of the Memorial Hospital autopsies but wouldn't release the results Thursday.
The investigation will take weeks, Wartelle said.
"It's a pretty monumental case, but we're not ready to say whether it happened or not," she said.
Kokemor believes autopsies will reveal narcotics and sedatives in many of the patients who died at Memorial Hospital, because that's what doctors give people in pain, but not to kill them.
The doctor said he didn't hear any patients ask to be put out of their misery.
Patients can ask that no extraordinary measures be taken to prolong their lives, but doctors can't make that decision for them, even if they'll likely live only a short time longer in extreme pain, Kokemor said.
One patient, a 92-year-old New Orleans man, was bleeding internally during the hurricane's aftermath when physicians were hampered in diagnosing and operating on patients. The man was given six pints of blood in transfusions but wasn't improving.
"He probably had some kind of malignancy or some ulcer in his stomach that was oozing and bleeding," said Kokemor. "All you can do is buy them some time by replacing their blood."
The elderly man had no relatives, lived alone, and had lost his home in the flood.
"Do you want the blood or not?" Kokemor recalled asking the patient.
He did.
"I wrote the order for him to get the blood," Kokemor said. "Whether he got it or not, I don't know."
Lee Hill Kavanaugh of The Kansas City Star contributed to this report. Latson reports for the Olympian in Olympia, Wash., and Washburn for The Charlotte Observer.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/krwashbureau/_wea_storms_mercykilling

Friday, October 07, 2005

i need a vacation

Ex-haust-ion

I should have seen it coming

I should have seen the signs

I woke up this morning and saw bags underneath my eyes that were so big,
if I were to use them for shoplifting,

I could have walked into the Virgin Megastore and pranced out with the entire Jazz CD department from A to Z .

Why am I so stubborn?
I sometimes think that I can outdo myself, crash and burn, and then I pay for it,
at times looking like I not only put my foot in my mouth, but the entire shoe store.

This past week I have been a little too bold, a little too cocky, a little over the top emotionally and a little too out of control for my liking.

Yesterday I heard myself speak to a client in a way I rarely do unless I am pushed up against a wall.
I felt like I was Tony Soprano making a hard ass deal with a chooch on the low end of the food chain.
And I was actually dealing with the big time Italian $$$ guy.

I was a little too brash for my own good.mind you, it paid off, and this guy now knows I mean business, but at the same time, had he not been so nice, I could have been told to fuck off - we don't need that attitude for the $ you are charging us...

But I was lucky - this time...
So tonight I am going to break my cycle of going to bed at 4:30am and getting up at 9:30am.

Unfortunately, I am not 20 anymore, and doing this sleep deprivation for an extended period of time (now my limit is a week) will completely turn me into a volatile bundle of explosive nerves and emotions that I can't afford to have go off while I am away on my trip.Oh God.

The last thing I want is a meltdown in public!!!
I've had a rare few in the past 5 years, and they were not pretty.

Working too hard, sleeping too little and with the stress factor up to warp speed - I am a 20 car pile-up accident waiting to happen.

Funny - the song that is running in my head right now is
No sleep T'ill Brooklyn by the Beastie Boys.Sleep = clear head, sharp mind, strong will, and silenced volcano.

-Keshi

Saturday, October 01, 2005

i wish i cud marry again



kkk

i love to look at lingerie advts




Below is the images in its original context on the page: www.nickells.co.uk/ websites/secondskin/

I am a Dirty Old Man






I guess i was born to be a DOM

"In the spring, a young man's fancy
Lightly turns to thoughts of what
The older man throughout the year
Has never even once forgot."

Saturday, August 20, 2005

A girl who lost her job, dance bar girl .....


‘Life has come a full circle for me’
(This is the story of Asha, an unemployed dance bar girl who today has no option but to switch to the oldest known profession. She was soliciting customers through a pimp on Friday. It was her first day. TOI spoke to her. )
It was raining heavily, like today, when I boarded the Gitanjali Express from Howrah to Mumbai three years ago. As the the train moved, I thought I had escaped from the clutches of poverty and degradation. My sister, Asha was doing well in Mumbai and she was sending money to my ailing mother for the past so many years. She had informed me that I could earn good money too, if I came to Mumbai. “You may have to work in a hotel, but the money is good,’’ she said, when she had come to visit me in Kolkata. I had no option but to heed to her advice as our small tannery shop, the only source of livelihood, had closed down. My father had died and we were four sisters, all unemployed. We barely had enough to eat. My sister had reached Mumbai with the help of her friend and both were working in this hotel called ‘Dilruba’. On reaching Mumbai, I came to know that my sister was working at a dance bar in Vashi. After a few months of sitting at home, she took me there one day. I hated it initially. I saw men holding my sister and dancing throughout the night. But soon, I realised that she kept her limits and never allowed men to overpower her. Then one day, she asked me to dance in front of her. She said, “This is all I am asking you to do at the dance bar. Just try it once and if you do not like the atmosphere, you do not have to come with me again,’’ my sister said. That is how I got initiated. Somehow, the very first day I got a nice customer who gave me Rs 400 and said “Thu apli Priyanka Chopra jaisi hey (You look like Priyanka Chopra).’’ I never looked back after that. Every month I used to send Rs 5,000 home, and my mother soon got my three younger sisters married off in Kolkata. Later, I moved out and took a room near to my sister’s place in Nerul. Life was going on normally till the state ordered banning dance bars. We tried to resist. I was part of the morcha held at Azad Maidan. I was arrested twice by the Navi Mumbai Police, sent to the lockup in Turbhe as the dance bars were open after midnight. We were harassed at the police stations and the cops called us prostitutes. These were the same cops who came to us drunk in the night and pleaded with us to sleep with them. The number of people coming to the bar were dwindling and there were many of my colleagues who were already getting into prostitution. The shutdown of the bars proved to be the final nail in the coffin. My sister (whose husband had left her) said she was ready to sell herself to feed her two children. But I protested and told her not to for the sake of those same children. Anyway, I am not married and I saw no future for myself. I knew no one will come forward to marry me, so I convinced my sister that I would look after them, even if I had to sell myself. That is when I told Sanjay, my faithful rickshaw driver, to look out for prospective customers who could pay good money. I feel my virginity is of no use today. I feel life has come a full circle. I am back to where I came from. There is darkness all around—a city that has little mercy for its lesser mortals. —As told to Viju B

Saturday, August 13, 2005

WENT TO A PARTY, MOM



I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,

Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom

Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,

Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,

Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.

These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
So I love you and good-bye.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)








MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) IS HOPING TO GET 5,000 >SIGNATURES ON>THIS, THEN PASS IT ON TO SIGN. When this petition has reached 5,000, >please>return it to:>MADD>P.O. Box 541688>Dallas, TX 75354-1688>1-800-GET-MADD (1-800-438-6233)>

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

to all the woomen i expressed my undying love for ...

I told Mary about us I told her about our great sin
Mary cried and forgave me and Mary took me back again

Said if I wanted my freedom I could be free evermore
But I don't wanna be and I don't wanna see Mary cry anymore

Oh devil woman devil woman let go of me
Devil woman let me be
and leave me alone I wanna go home


http://www.lyrics007.com/Dickey%20Lee%20Lyrics/Devil%20Woman%20Lyrics.html

Monday, July 18, 2005

my last confession .......

when i was in college
i was ragged

when i came out of college
i perfected the art of ragging

u want to hurt a person real bad
find out his weakness in the mind

for girls its usually physical appearance
tell her she is fat, it works all the time
or dark, if she is indian

for guys u have to play on the mind
God and/or cuntry shud do it
better still kill his ego

if he tinks he is a good riter
tell him, his riting SUXS
i failed wid De Vile though

but my ragging goes to extremes
bcoz i am usually on a high

i used to be bi-polar
but now, i am stuck on a high
and i am dangerous, when on a high

i apologize to Fira, and Bhaalu
and more recently the American on my blogg

i didnt no dat Ashes was nearing depression
i probably contributed a great deal to put him in deeper

Ashes later forgave me, i tink
but he made me feel real bad about it

i dont want to hurt anymore guys
so i have decided to quit the blogging world

i used to spend 4 hours evryday in blogging
and i have neglected my work and friends
in the real world

God is merciful, He will forgive me
i hope u guys, those i have hurt will forgive me too

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Just Married ......

NO! ur not until u accept him just the way he is

u have a wild romance wid Saby
but u just dont no him
till u see all of him
(will be posting my nude pic soon)

it may happen on yr honeymoon
or a year later
when u see his nasty side
and he sees yours


then if u accept him
just the way he is

then ur truly married for keeps

Maria and I
we been married for 24 years
but i never tot of asking
do u love me?

on october 5, 2005
am gonna ask Maria
and if she says 'i do'
i will no

if she says 'no'
i will ask TANVI

and if she says no too
i will try to kill myself again

and if i dont succeed
i will ask BHAALU

Thursday, June 30, 2005

i confess i lied ....



dis is me ...
the guy on my rite is saby on my left is Gomey

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

dis was posted by Pithaly ......



the idiot is is me ..

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Blue moon ....



u saw me standing alone, widout a love in my heart ......

Monday, June 27, 2005


pithaly i cant help doing wat i do ....
dis is me ..

Saturday, June 25, 2005

dis is how i feel when talking wid Bhaalu ......



i am here dis is me ....

to the sweet girl who dont talk to me no more .....

also to OPIE, King-Butt, Gary, to annony_mouse_lover_of_saby, to annony_mouse_hater_of_saby

Like strangers.
That´s what we are.


Darling how can lovers pull apart so far?

Like strangers.
How can it be?

Only days ago, we loved so tenderly.
I love you, truly I do.

And I hope deep in your heart you love me too.
Let´s forget that we´ve been angry.

Let´s be lovers like before.
And try not to be like strangers, anymore.

Let´s forget that we´ve been angry,
Let´s be lovers like before,
And swear not to be like strangers, anymore


http://www.lyricsdownload.com/everly-brothers-like-strangers-lyrics.html

a confession posted by an unhappy wooman .....



dis happens in india too ......

i seen it,
the guy or the girl wasnt able to come out of the closet

i love mouses, but i hate a rat ...


dis is the rat i castrated on chat, now he is hounding me .....

Friday, June 24, 2005


dats why, i dont have a mirror in my house ...
dis is me ..

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

of acquaintances, friends, lovers and soul mates ...

imnutsincaps: a true friend


an acquaintance is some body u meet on the bus stop quite frequently
How ru mate ?
Fine; u?
ditto
e.g. Stud


a friend is an acquaintance i had a drink wid
bared my heart to him
e.g. Rex Venom



a lover is a friend u went to bed wid
it may be cyber too
e.g. TANVI she seen me nude and vice versa

http://imnutsincaps.blogspot.com/2005/02/cat-who-saw-tanvi-naked.html



an enemy is a friend who didnt make it to the lover grade
e.g. Agony


a soul mate is the ultimate friend
Pithaly and Willie


i have regrets dat the Austrayalayan and De Vile havent reached the soul mate grade as yet

a soul mate nos the others soul completely
- wont get fooled by fake ids and clones
- wont listen to my words

click on true friend on the title to get to Willie

Reflections ......

the brotherhood of man

Homeless
His sign read: "HOMELESS SOBER NEED WORK OR FOOD."

As I sat idle in my car at the red light reading this sign, I studied this strangers presence. He was a lone man, bearded, no younger then 50, standing on the side of the route 23 highway off ramp. His only possession in this world was and old tattered black backpack, which lay on the grass under his feet. My thoughts raced as I continued to observe him. How does a fellow human began stand by and watch another man suffer like this? I felt guity as I sat in the luxury of my personal vehicle and listened to yet another new CD which I purchased just yesterday. As I pulled forward I pressed the down arrow on my window control panel, I handed him lunch, Wendy's. After watching endless cars pass by without compassion or concern I was no longer feeling hungry.

We never exchange words as I offered him the Wendy's bag, we just looked into each others eyes. I found a gentleness in his eyes, a softness to his lingering presence. I nodded, and he gave me a smile. As he walked away I remembered his eyes: I will never forget his eyes, they are still in my vision tonight as I reflect on my day today.



shamelessly copied from another blogg .... word to word .... had to .....

Thursday, May 05, 2005

i used to visit Madame X for her hott stories .. .....

and i found enlightenment


dis may sound funny
but u find Jesus in the strangest places


a sample

"Its not how you look, its how you think!" - and other thoughs on what we believe to be true.
I stumbled upon an article today that made me think.
Really think.
It was so appropriate in the light of what happened yesterday.
It is so appropriate in explaining why I feel the way I do.
It's all about what you believe to be true.

Time for me to change my shoes and change my life.
Change my attitude, re-balance my compass.
Go for the gold.

Sometimes, we are too deep inside the forest to see the trees. Sometimes negative conditioning clouds the positive logic in psychology. Your emotional response, irrespective of what it may be, will be determined by your attitudes and what you beleive.

And a quote on a battered index card that I have stuck to my monitor reads:
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but by your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

dis is wisdom

its the gift of God, very few find it so early in life






Wednesday, May 04, 2005

And God said ... No! .....

I asked God to ...


I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No."
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No."
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No."
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No."
He said He gives me blessings -- happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No."
He said suffering separates you from world and draws you closer to Me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No."
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life. And God said "No."
He said I will give you life, that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as HE loves me.
And God said . . . Ah, finally -- NOW you have the right idea!


www.positivethoughts.com

i hate BHAALU, was he who told me ......



got dis from post secret

i been verry notty ......



hit me harder Saby

dis is http://spankmewithaspoon.blogspot.com/

Saturday, April 30, 2005

intercepted WORDY's confession to post secret ...



and now Kesh nos

dis was posted by BHAALU on to post secret ......



and now, it is no secret

though i am not a child no more, i still love milk ......
dis is me ..

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

i love my mom-in-law verry much ... she a widow she needs hugging and loving

is it incest?... is it a bad ting?


when u love some one u wanna hugg dem

but when u hugg the oposite sex
tings just start happpening to both ....

Friday, April 22, 2005

OH GOD , MY GOD ..

Love u

... from a letter, i posted to Janice a long time ago


A religious person draws his/her strength from the conviction dat there is a super power (GOD) who is just and wise and who controls our destiny.
That applies to me also
Now all the great thinkers ……the wise men (?) may consider GOD is a myth…the opium of the masses…..
That is OK with me….. for I have seen GOD in action in my life…. I have seen my emails bounce…then I edit the mails and it goes through… I have seen times when I was dead broke…and I get an income tax refund… my wife has seen this happen…but she rationalizes,….. she tries to find logical explanations. .logic is the creation of the human mind…logic is a myth….
An invention can only be as good as the creator of the invention…

My image of GOD…. whom I refer to as Jesus…names, ..identification labels don’t matter…u may call Him Allah or Ram or Bhagwan…. He don’t give a damn…. I refer to him as a classic joker….He makes me see sense by joking with me…… when I get pompous… he lets the air off…. And I stand deflated… like a punctured balloon.or like when tnhe effects of the Blue Pill wear ioff…

Jesus (my image of GOD) has also experienced the human condition…He experienced the pain and suffering…we mortals undergo…He experienced betrayal…. 30 pieces of silver……
So brilliantly portrayed in the passion of Christ……
My image of Jesus is that He is merciful….and does not condemn sinners…He gives them a chance …again and again… to repent ….and to come back ….to the narrow path….. but He gives us the freedom of choice…..
God loves sinners ….. the human mind cannot accept dat….. he suppped wid tax collectors…he loved Mary Magdalene ,…the sex worker….. He says there is greater joy in heaven over one repentant sinner…..the lost sheep……who has returned to the flock…….the prodigal son……

Dat is a very comforting tot …no matter wat I do …wat I say…the gate is always open…. He never closes the door…. He hurts bcoz i have been wayward….but he waits patiently…he hopes dat one day I will see sense …and return back…..

But He wont force me2……

Jesus is very different fro the GOD of the Old Testament…the old Testament is an obsolete document….. the old Testament wanted us to be God –fearing….. Jesus says God is yr loving father….

I LOVE U JESUS…..

I also joke wid Jesus ..He has a gr8 sense of humour…..He can laff at His church…. The Padres…the Bishops in their funny caps…trying to look pious…He even laffs at His Pope…….. when he preaches birth control by Russian roulette…

Hey, God …if I am rong….don’t strike me down wid lighting…. If im rong forgive me……

Love ya Jesus,
Saby (me an IIT graduate… ino more than u…u never even been to schools were just making furniture for 30 years…ur not even competent to be MR of an ISO 9001 company…)

Cc: Fr, Anil Rego….hope u don’t burn me as a heretic….like the Church did in the middle ages…..or lock me up in mad house… like we did to Galileo…

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


i am just a dirty old man .....
dis is me ..

Sunday, April 17, 2005

i confess .. i used to use google search almost exclusively for porn search ....

then i chatted wid innocent gujjus from IT Ahmedabad room, who hadnt heard of porn, and then

then, i met an austraylayan who cud cuss better than most guys ...
she introduced me to blogging ...

i hear she still gives guys like CYNO a ruff time ....
but i graduated from chatting in to blogging

here i met Americans, Canadians and i also met Bhaalu
the former two were good company

but BHAALU brought out the worst in me
but then i linked to Ashutosh

i read his posts
he gave me a new use of google search

i soon started searching for my roots ...
read about the arts, culture, polly tics, and i am still googling for tings other than porn

i gotta be honest here
i still google search for porn

only i dont call it porn
i call it erotica

i gotta tank Rex wid a venom for dis ...

Saturday, April 16, 2005


Adam and Eve - the first time ...
tell us about your first time ....

moving on ......

I confess


got dis from http://pinkbuttahfly.blogspot.com/


Thought it would never come
The day I realized we were through
It should have happened long ago
But I was in love and confused too

The feelings that once burned inside
The ones that I hoped were real
Will no longer affect me
Cause now I no longer feel

He will always mean alot to me
What we did I wont regret
I'll remember times that we shared
And the first time that we met

Deep down I know I love him
I will forever and a day
Not forgetting how he made me feel
So good in every single way

I'll remember the way we kissed
The way he held me tight
How he used to look at me
Before he kissed me goodnight

What I still don't understand
Is why we couldn't be
What was it that scared him
Why wouldn't he let me see

He told me that I'm special
And that he still loves me too
But it didn't feel the same
Now I know what to do

Oh well it's time to forget that
Think about myself now
I need to get on with my life
Now that I know how

I'll never really be able to Let him go completely
I'll just be what I was before
A friend when he needs me
I'll make him laugh when he's upset

Try my hardest and do my best
When I see him I'll block it out
And treat him just like the rest
It's time that I moved on

For my sake and for his
I know I'm bored of the game
And by now I'm sure he is

Thursday, April 14, 2005


some body posted on post secret .......
dis cud be me

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Pope .....

celebrity bashing


'Pope (and other celebrity) bashing is a past time of the idle rich'
- Anony Mouse



Pope considered resigning in 2000

April 07, 2005 20:09 IST
Last Updated: April 07, 2005 21:01 IST


Pope John Paul II was contemplating resigning from Papacy in 2000, his testament released on Thursday revealed.

The Pope passed away on April 2. He was suffering from Parkinson's disease and some other ailments.

The Pontiff wrote his testament in Polish. He began writing it in 1979. He has said he reviewed it each Lenten season.

Complete Coverage: The Pontiff passes on

The initial entries are about his family.

The Pope's parents, brother and sister died early in his life. His infant sister died before he was born; his brother died when he was 9, his mother when he was 12 and father when he was 21.

The Pope wrote that he left no material possessions behind. He asked that his personal records be burned. Other than his family, he mentioned only two people -- his personal secretary, Archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz, and the former chief rabbi of Rome, Elio Toaff.

The Vatican, which provided an Italian translation of the document, has promised copies in other languages later.


- from http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/apr/07pope.htm


I dont have the hottz for Maria (me wife) no more ....

and likewise she dont ....


Where did the romance of our marriage go ?

she wud dress her best for me
now she dont give a damn ....

she wud always smile for me
now all i see is frowns ...
all i hear is her bad mouthing me ...

she now tells me

Darius is such a good husband ...
(the next door neighbor)
meaning i am a louse of course .....

she says i dont earn enuff
she says i got no ambition ....

she says i smell bad
she says ......
she says ....

i stopped listening a while back
i get appreciation from another man's wife

yes, am referring to Darius

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

on euthanasia ....

I confess, i kiled my father-in-law


the guy was an asthama patient 'labouring for evry breath'
i tot it best for him to die

told the doc 'if u cant cure him dont prolong his agony'
he was administered jelly laced wid poison
he died in half an hour

on hindsight, i feel i done the rong thing

he was a fighter
mebbe he wud have survived ....
coz miracles do happen


but i played God

http://washingtontimes.com/op-ed/20050710-100558-1213r.htm

Sunday, March 27, 2005


i confess, pics like these turn me on ....
...

Saturday, March 19, 2005


Guys, i confess ... 'i almost threw in the towel' ....
dis is me ..

i prayed ... i cried .. and i said 'God! why do i have to do dis?'
i am only a man right now ... i cant take it ... even a pin prick hurts ... and ...

Dont fall in love old man ......

when she says she loves u ...its not wat u tink




Don’t fall in love ……..Heart of mine …..
(for old men who flip for young girls)

Heart of mine be still,
You can play with fire but you'll get the bill.

Don't let her know that you love her.
Don't be a fool, don't be blind

Heart of mine.
Heart of mine go back home,

You got no reason to wander, you got no reason to roam.
Don't let her see that you need her.

Don't put yourself over the line
Heart of mine.

Heart of mine go back where you been,
Don't let her hear
Don't let her hear you want her.

Heart of mine.
Heart of mine you know that she'll never be true,
She'll only give to others the love that she's gotten from you.

Don't untie the ties that bind
Heart of mine.

Heart of mine so malicious and so full of guile,
Give you an inch and you'll take a mile.

Don't let yourself fall Don't let yourself stumble.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime
Heart of mine.


-Bob Dylan



it happens honey ...its OK ...... to err is human...

www.imnutsincapstoo.blogspot.com
Some times u just gotta confess
Dont even to try to explain .......

dis happens

Friday, March 18, 2005


Dear Dewdy,

How have u been ?

Your mother and I are fine.
We miss u
Will u sign off your computer
And come down stairs for some thing to eat


Love,
Dad

dis is me ..

and then he kissed me .....


.....
betrayal..

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I confess, i am not patriotic ..........

also FIRA


India and Pakistan at war on the greens
they call it cricket, but it certainly is not


all indians glued to the TV
work be damned


Fira - cheers for Pakistan

Saby - cheers for Portugal
(the creep is watching a football match played in europe)


Diffy - prefers to watch a XXX movie instead
Bhaalu the tinker - reads the UPANISHADS for the 92 nd time



poor Jan cant watch TV
she only gets to see the ceiling these days


hubby is down from the US of A on short leave

Sunday, March 13, 2005


Jesus was human .......
He laughed and He cried too ...

Saturday, March 05, 2005

i confess ... i am a sadist

i love to make woomen cry ... and Fira


some times i do realize
wat an asshole i am
dat girl from austraylaya introduced me to the fine art of blogging .....
and deflating egos of guys ....


so dis is for Kesh ...

Knock !... Knock !
Fira: who is there ?


Amina
Fira brightens visibly


amina bad mood
open the fucking door u asshole !


hope dat brought smiles to her lovely eyes


dat was CORN soup for her soul
she dont like porn

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

a questionnaire for u guys.... .....

if u hate questionnaires.. hit Kesh and Dewdy...i got the flu from these guys


Here's a question for you:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids
already, three who were deaf, two who were blind,
one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you
recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote
counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -

Associates with crooked politicians and consults with
astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain
smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used
opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -

He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't
smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first, no peeking, then look below for the answer.













Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question:
If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?
It makes a person think before judging someone.


Monday, February 14, 2005

all u wanted to no abt our affair .....

Janice and Julia

Guys,

i have to confess .. i posed as Julia a 39 yo wooman to get friiendly wid Janice ... in geeting to no each other i posted dis :


SEPTEMBER:
Is dis me honey?


Suave and compromising.
Compromising on wat?…moral principles??


Careful, cautious and organized.
Organized ? me ??
Its all organized chaos in me life…!!

Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize.
OK ...2dat…..i confess..im a sadist!…


Stubborn.
NO!..IM NOT!!.. ur !

Quiet but able to talk well.
I dunno abt dat…


Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic.
These are gud points….. am I like dat??

Concerned and detailed.
Yeah I give detailed graphic explanations abt how the juniors shud meet…

Loyal but not always honest.
Honestly.. im always loyal…..

Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable.
THANKS honey I needed dat ….


Loves to look for information.
Yeah I have been surfing the net like crazy to educate u ….. u cheapskate ….

Must control oneself when criticizing.
Yeah, some time i do tend to go overboard … hope u understand …I don’t intend to hurt u … when I do ….


Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be
around.
THANKS again! … just keep them coming….


Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling.
Dats true ….


Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
Dat is bcoz ur overly sensitive ….. and ur my daughter….
But I do express my love for u dear ……




Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
Yeah I systematically castrate the creeps .. i see on indiatimes….

.... Now u no me Janice!..... ur born in December right?
will tell abt u in my next mail ...


PS: Janice - may i tell wat i told ?

Saturday, February 12, 2005

to the most beautiful girl in my world ........

Maria (Julia)


God blessed me
by giving u to me

as me wife

u seen me at my worst, and
u stood by me

u have an awful lotta humor
and love

to stik by me for so long

just wanna tell u today dat
i love u verry much

though u may not see it
it is true

- saby, the creep
Feb 14, 2005

PS: janice, priti, Geeta, kiran, keshi, sneha, laura, kiran, icey, dewdy, priti, neha, tanvi, sebia, anna-chicago, nikki- miami, and all u beautiful ppl at IT, and all u guys too ..

'dat i love maria more
dont mean i love u guys less'




come clean b4 u leave dis planet .....

dis blogg alows u to confess ........

u will feel better when u do ..we christians confess to padres ... non-christians can confess here ...and also christians too.. u might have not told padre all ..


i got my inspiration from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ ... u can post here too

saby